4th July 2007: 26 Years Of Existence

Yow~ it's this day again.

As the years past, the day's significance has reduced to nothing but an ordinary day. Unless you are living on that particular country, there nothing to celebrate about around me.

Well, this year, this date's importance have been over-shadowed by one date, - 07.07.2007. Yeah, apart from the once in a lifetime mega event, Live Earth, there also an event much more closer to home- Cousin Cheong's official wedding day. Yup, as i mention another day, i guess i'll be going to KL to attend the wedding after all. Anyway, i'll brag about the day on another post soon.

As for me, my 26 years of life is getting more.... how i put it, uneventful. No job, no close friends around me, no one really understand me- i dun even understand myself sometimes, and no place to belong to. Strange to think about it that how my life has come to this. What's the reason of my existence?

Most of my family said that i still young. Young, ...young?! People at the age of 25 already achieved much in their life, their dream, their career, and i still struggling around for survival. Why i ended up like this? Where did i go wrong?

"Dont dream too big, better to leave your foot on the ground."

What? So that i can be like you working under someone like hell just for sake of money and survival. Please. Life is much more that that.

Is my thinking wrong? Or life is really just like that? Why can i do things i want in life instead to be governed by money?

I really adore those guys who now really sucessful just by doing the things they like- which not related to money. Steven Spielberg- filming, Rumiko Tanaka- manga drawing, J.K. Rowling- writing and many others. All these individual are rich and famous in their respective field. It not all about money. And they all started when they are younger than me now, well except for Rowling.

I really wish now for a chance to do the thing that i have passion of, that give me more to my life that just survival.

Revenge Of The Otakus

I was browsing the net this wonderful morning in search of singapore version of Akihabara (deeply miss KL's version- Sungai Wang Plaza and surroundings) when i stumble upon this post of a fellow singaporean otaku blogger.

It seems that a private anime license holding company are seriously clamping down on "illegal" download of fansub anime o.O. Well, i've heard rumours of letter of court being sent around targeting bittorret downloaders. Turns out to be true.

The company, Odex Pvt Ltd have been sending letter to an unknown number of singapore otakus who were caught using bittorret to download licensed anime such as Bleach and Naruto. Most if not all, settled the fine out of court to date.

But this matter had set a outrage among otaku nationwide online and off due to questionable privacy issues and strongarm tactics akin to blackmailing. This does no help as the company's anime products (vcds and dvds) are said to be of crude quality and even looked as if taken from the fansubbed anime as well *shock*

As i browse through the comments, the otakus are rallying for a boycott of the company's products and in midst of writing a formal letter of complain to the national newspaper regarding the matter. And on the other hand, the company seems to dismiss and downplay such incident.

As for me, i'm an otaku too but then again doesnt wish to have things get ugly especially if things turn against us. As for now, better lay low and stick to manga scanlation :P

Shackled

It been a few days i've stayed at Singapore.. few days too long. I kinda felt a bit restricted in some sense. No late nights, no friends, no privacy, no place to go to, no money, no job... sigh~ I dun even have enough clothes to wear... cant bring all my clothes in the first place. And so hot in here... i never sweat this often in life, swear.

Not that i feel ungrateful, i do really since i have a roof over my head now. But i dun think i can follow their house rule for long... i cant function like this. No.. i not pampered, just frustated i can't live my way that i used to, alone (by choice) and free. I can live in hardship, hey.. i've been living quite independently outside for almost 7 years without any trouble (non money wise).

Another thing is i hate to be treated like a know-nothing kid, always being told what to do over and over again. I know, the elders always like to nag cos' they care. That why i kept quiet and just nod. But for crying out loud, i gonna turn 26 this year and have 25 years worth of common sense plus the exprience of living independantly of 7 years. I can fricking take care of myself without anyone nagging to me about that...

Well, guess i have no choice but to be patience till at least i have a stable job. Then i gonna get out of here. Hope they understand. I value my privacy and freedom more. *grin* Until that day, i need to research more on what to take to live here (how much price needed).

New Home New Begining

There, we finally moved house.

After spending the whole weekend organizing, packing, throwing, load up the lorry, reloading and unpack we able to finally move out of wanga maju into our new home (kinda old apartment) in sec 17, PJ. As life has it, things dun went as smoothly as planned especially concerning the old landlord (ex now)...

Anyway, yesterday was really busy... working our ass off from morning to evening. Things made worst, when after we finished moving our stuffs and practically moved out, the landlord asked (when phoned) to clear every single items, ours or not, out of his house. Since he got a leverage over us, we have no choice.And he cant even come to give us back our deposits even i informed him before we moved yesterday.. Fuming mad.

Without a choice, we just have to throw everything which we dun need. Mostly leftover books, clothes and stuffs from previous housemates which are still in mint condition. Not to mention a hill of old newspapers and books. And a still functional fridge.

In the end, we manage to get help from a couple of guys who manage a charity recycle event (lucky i noticed it earlier when we moved out) nearby. We cleared the newspapers and sorted out clothes and stuff to give to the charity. There, the house was cleared. Well, apart from the lone fridge in a corner which we have to leave it there.

So, we went back our new home, unpack and organize the place. The 1st thing i set up is my beloved PC.. lol. Till now, there still some boxes waiting to be unpack. And the floor need a good sweep and mop.

Later in the evening, i still have to rush to wangsa maju to meet up with the old landlord.... if he turn up this time. Sigh~

Crying (Care)Freeman

I wonder why i wanna blog about this too... but then again this one of the reason why i blog in the 1st place...

Anyway, all the years since i was a young teen, i always maintain an emotionless look... especially when bad things happen around me. Even during my father's death, my grandpa or even my fav grandma where everyone else cried openly... i was always without a single drop of tear. Even i myself tot my heart was harden without the feeling of sadness... or maybe it my care-free attitude. I can feel happy but not sadness. Maybe the happiness might been an act.

Still, a lot time. i really wish to cry out. The passing of my father, my broken relationship wif my ex, and especially during the recent year. Yet i cant. Not a drop. A robot like human.

And yesterday night, i just erupted.

I received my salary of the month and hopes to dine out. Yet i dun felt like eat alone. My bros got their own things to do. A few friendly phone calls, a few sms. No favorable result. Then i decide to eat some leftover bread at home. Alone.

Later all bros came back and we discussed about the house moving problem. It became heated when the third and i argued. Second bro tends to not get involve or things might get worse. Soon the third (currently taking a degree in psychology) said something which felt akin to what Steve Irvin got in his last moment... maybe even worst.

I shouted back in rage and retreated to my room. I was trying to calm down when mum phoned. And when talking to her, i suddenly just exploded in tears. I was cried and sobbed like a 3 year old. It was like all the accumulated pressure, disappointments and grief just burst open. Unable to speak properly, i handed the phone to my 2nd bro who standing there stunned ( he said much later that's the 1st time he saw me cried in his whole life)

Obviously, my mum was dead worried when she suddenly heard me like this.

Soon i was able to calm down and was dumb-founded that i cried just then.... Just so surreal. My bro and mum (second phone call) was relieved. Sorry for making u all so worried ;P
Later i made peace to my third bro. Hey, we brothers after all.....

So i cried. Real man cries, as the saying goes. Hey, I'm a human after all. After this episode, I hope things will get better.

Drastic Times In Need of Drastic Action

Aye.
This year's been, well, a nightmare in need of waking up from... everything went wrong where ever i been into. My job, finance state and even my relationship with my family is kinda rocky.

Everything that have been lead into this was due to a series of unwise decisions of mine and situations that went against me. A heavy burden taking toll on a simple minded guy like me.

Well, in a next few days I'll will be taking some drastic action and hope these ease some burden of mine and in ways, help those who were affected by those unwise decisions of mine. No, i not thinking of doing something stupid.. lol

Then what i planning to do? Well, u'll find out in the next few days.